Happy, Active and NOT Lurking

 Good Morning,

It's that time of the year... the time to write and update my blog.  I just finished my Mass Media course in pursuit of my intended technical certificate Social Media which I hope to attain by Spring 2025.  That's right, I have 1 like and 30 followers, but who's to say I cannot go in a field that I have energy and passion for. It can't go downhill from here.  Let's momentarily switch topics.

There once was a serial killer who admitted in an interview, that his parents had nothing to do with how he turned out. Well, hell. This man was from a typical white-bred middle class family who appeared to have love and support most of his life.  I come from a family that is not traditionally the same. We always seem to avoid blame or blame everything else but ourselves. Yes, I never grew up with the mentality of taking ownership because in the end, that leaves me feeling powerless. But yet, some people naturally gravitate toward this.  This came to a realization that I would avoid blame at all costs, including putting blame on someone else so I wouldn't look bad.

Last night I decided to watch a tutorial on Happiness for Teens that I put off for the longest time because I knew I don' have time for it. But it's an important topic. And I do want to know the happiness and well being of teenagers today, given that Generation Z appears to be the most depressed generation - says research. Turns out, that one of the cause of unhappiness in social media is how you approach it. There are many passive lurkers out there, that don't interact but scroll through social media -- adding to their mental state of mind.

Human behavior has been studied, according to Google, early 1900s. You'd be shock to think this field is relatively new. I chose Psychology as a second major in my college career back in the early 2000s because I was fascinated with the class in high school, child psychology. I wanted to know if we can control the outcome of a child's life through proper support, love and tools we give them, despite their genetics inclination. Well, if you circle back to that earlier statement I made about Dahmer, it simply indicates either he's lying and refuse to blame his father or the truth -- that we really can't tell the true motivation for a human's behavior.  Can we blame our parents for how we learn to live through "modeling" and what is acceptable and not acceptable?  This is the theory, "learned through modeling." Or do we do the opposite of what our parents did through the traumas we encountered growing up, vowing never to be like them?

In the end, the answer to happiness?  Is within. Is a state of mind. Stop trying to evaluate why someone loves or doesn't love you. You can't make the world love you.  Indeed, I grew up in a period of pop culture and all I ever wanted was to be famous and in the limelight.  Why, because that promises that you would be loved?  Did Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, or even Karen Carpenter feel loved? The anguish Karen felt not loving her body, or the anguish that Elvis felt, what fame brings into his life?

Food for thought.    

The Overseas Life

 February 14, 2024. It is a valentine's day, and what could be more appropriate than to wake up from a dream full of hopes, dreams, past loves and passions.  

First dream scene - Overseas: I dreamt that I was placed overseas again. I found my RAV 4 Toyota with my Floridian plate facing a busy baseball field. It is loud, very loud with young kids running around all over.  My car has been shipped yet again to a foreign land.  It is somewhere in Asia as I stepped out of my beautiful and roomy minimalist apartment into a scenery of palm trees.  My husband and I were in the American compound. This compound was full of different sized homes for different families. It even had a a changing/locker area.  We were welcomed by local Americans who was giving us a brief saying that white chocolates and treats are in the reception area.  I talked with another fella who was standing by my car and said you are more than just a drive over to the other side of the compound as there are other American single homes there.  Wow, my husband and I decide to drive, and walk to check it out.  

Truth: Yes, when you go overseas you are taken care of, in more ways than one. You are in a foreign land and the first thing you want to do is get your bearings. Nothing can be more daunting than to be lost and alone. 

Second dream scene - My husband takes me to a Mango museum and he told me to get down and greet the local. She gave me a mango and I proceed to eat it. My fingers are sticky so I look around for a bathroom and already there are other tourists lined up to wash their hands down the hall at a washroom. I see the tour has begun. A group is walking over there but I don't want to join my group. I see my husband in one group and proceeded to join him. But did we do the tour? No, because dreams don't make sense. I find myself waking up with the box of unopened mangoes and a receipt of the tour and I asked my husband, are we going back to the tour? Meanwhile,  my daughter is somewhere there, doing another activity with a friend. We decided to "return the tour." In my mind, this is Asia and returning things is not a way of life.

Truth: There is a lot to see and do overseas. You don't know if you'll get the same things as you do in American and sometimes you long for the conveniences and things you are used to. You can't take your life back. It is done.

Third and final dream scene - I mentioned earlier about passions. This one was a show rehearsal for an important BBQ event. I had one acting scene and I must remember it. We tried different takes and I finally found one that the director agreed with. It's the next day and I am LATE! I felt mortified being less than prepared but you know what, I did what I did, and showed up at my spot, and I delivered my lines. The other actor reacted. I showed my daughter, and told the other actors that "I am pursuing this acting passion in attempt to increase my confidence. But I didn't have to tell you that."  My daughter was there helping me choose the costume on delivery day. Although I missed portions of it, I did arrive and did deliver. I felt redeemed.

Truth: Just the night before, I was in a Toastmaster's meeting and without prior knowledge or preparation, I delivered a speech only seconds under a minute for this exercise called, "Table Topics" which focuses on impromptu speaking. It forced me to be spontaneous and think quick. I guess I wanted to inspire my daughter by hoping she would see that she was naturally good at this.  What a connection - to want more for her, as the line in "The Joy Club" says, "This feather brings with it, good intentions."