A Few Weeks "Back Home"

Home Away from Home

 

June 27, 2014

Well my training is done and I'm on my way to see family for a week weeks, more training!  It just keeps getting more fun.  I enjoyed my time in DC and I'm actually getting well versed in driving around the Arlington area since it's been my home away from home for years now.  Ask my brother for the best way home and I forgot 355 existed!  Today's commute home was torture as I left school in Arlington at 2:50 PM to arrive at Frederick around 4:30 PM.  Normal commute is 52 minutes with no traffic.  The I-66 was jammed and there was a blockage on I-270 going toward Frederick.  Enough about that..I'm just glad to see mom and spend some time with her.  She slept well and looked comfortable, I think she enjoyed my presence. 

One thing I will not miss about DC is the traffic and the rush-rush attitude I run into. 

 Looking forward to getting together with my cousins I haven't seen for the longest time.  With the illness of mom, I think getting together and the closeness with family was a huge plus.  Since grandma passed in 1997, it seemed everyone went their own ways.  She was the diplomat's wife; she always arranged get together for the family.  She kept us together and when she went, no one took that on.  I miss her but I really wasn't there during her last days.  My cousins who lived in the same household were more close so they had much more tougher time during her last days.

Well, with all this chaos, comes some sweet quiet time and a DEE-LISH dessert from the Cheesecake Factory (Chocolate Raspberry Truffle).  It's a tradition that my friends and I do, after our dinner..we take home a piece of heaven :-)



A layer of chocolate frosting, a layer of chocolate mousse, a layer of cheese cake and last layer of chocolate crust... topped with fattening whipped cream.  You have to experience ALL the layers to fully enjoy it.  Thank goodness I don't eat there so often. 

I think I've gotten in my American fixes this week..Breakfast at iHOP, Olive Garden Alfredo scallops pasta and my favorite Frozen yogurt Cookies and Cream at Yogi Castle.  Sunday started rough, as I got lost but we made it in time for church at St. Mary's Chapel and was present when they asked for prayers for Kanya Choonit during "Prayers for the Faithful.". I can only hope her suffering truly will end and she can recover.  Let it be done according to Jesus's will.

Made it to P'Tan's house and had my favorite Thai dish, Kao Man Gai...which is a Thai classic dish.  Along with Lad Na and Pad Thai, that ranks quite high for me so glad she can cook this in my request :)  Grandma used to make it all the time.  Here's my beautiful and smart older cousin Narada... and the one who wished to be present, my sweet younger cousin Pim there by spirit :)

Bo, P Tan and Pimmie

Well that's it for this week!  Can't wait to be back in town to visit other friends next time :)

 

Traveling Again

Back in the USA

 

June 12, 2014

Well, my journey in Swaziland ends today.  Again, I am traveling, venturing into new territories and perhaps making new friendships and contacts again.  Life is a journey and last night’s dream prove to be so.  I dreamt that I was in a cruise and during this adventure, not only did I have such strong emotions, there were twists and turns and sites of new cities as well as feelings of broken promises and missing old friends.  I really love the joys of traveling but dislike the pains of leaving behind what has been established.  I will miss this city and the people I’ve met but they have all changed me, as I hope I have changed or inspired them. 

In last night’s cell bible study, we went over the program, 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.  Interestingly enough, I read this book while I was in Florida and each bit of it made sense that once I started reading it, I couldn’t put the book down.  Well yesterday they spoken of two types of people – the one who talks (babbling brooks) and the one who listens or doesn’t talk (the dead sea).  I knew for certain that I was a “babbling brook” although not in the first sense that you meet me, but that I happily express myself and to great detail, like to make known, what and how I feel (thus many people feel frustrated when I don’t finish listening).  I feel like a babbling brook in the sense that as my husband puts in, “you don’t have to tell the whole story” but I feel the need to be expressive so that people can “understand” me.  But then last night’s dream revealed two things to me – that I’m not necessarily one or the other, but I am a bit of both.  I do keep certain feelings inside, those that are very strong to me and that I never feel safe to reveal.  So yes, like the dead sea I do have a reservoir, just like they said.  I think to a certain extent everyone has one but they would know which one they lean toward the most.  I like telling stories..It’s what can be recorded and can show what was once lived.  Scrapbooking is one means of recording that story for me.  I know certain people like to live in the moment, never record a thing in their life, but know it is all “up here” in their heads but everyone has a finite time on earth.  And with that, a lost of precious memories.   

What’s important to a person? To leave that history behind or to take it with them when they depart earth?  I guess that is the question and one cannot (and should not) persuade an ideal on another, for we are all different (created in God’s images) and special that way.

 3:21 PM Johannesburg Airport

Here I am killing time at the airport.  Driver had to get me here early so he can return to Swaziland by daylight.  Anyways, I survived the long wait as I’ve just enjoyed a two-scoop cup of delicious Haagen-Dazs ice cream.  What better way to use up my remaining RAND.  Got some souvenirs too..one for the little one, the hubby and for mom/Batt.  Haven’t been in touch with them over a day and it will be two days by the time I arrive Friday morning.  Funny how time flies fast when you are traveling & waiting.. Just like that book by Dr. Seuss.  We are always just waiting..waiting for a train to come or a plane to fly   (Oh the Places you’ll go).  I saw mom last few times on Skype and she looked so very weak and near death.  It’s so sad when I think of the things she enjoys like the magnets and buying souvenirs, all these things makes me want to cry.  She was my mom, good or bad; weaknesses and strength.  She is my mom, and she did the most wonderful thing one can do – give me life.  What makes me want to cry very much is knowing when I talk to her, even on Skype she seemed to open her eye as much as she can and try to talk – how can one say that a person’s condition like that has “no brain activity?”  She is in God’s hands now.

5:15 PM

Now at the gate, done going through the too familiar security check at the gate and just waiting to board.  Almost 1 and a half hour of listening to Mark’s Gospel while looking for pictures of grandma and Alyssa on my laptop’s Memory Manager.  I love how I can find pics quickly according to timeline and subject.  I know by the time is Alyssa is older, her memories with grandma will soon be long forgotten.  I think it will be a good memorial for my mom.  I don’t want to be selfish but I want mommy to either recover in full, or go to God.  When I land, I will find out from daddy, what the verdict is.  I know she will always be with me. 

During my last few weeks in Swaziland, I’ve had the joy of Skyping with Alyssa and it was like I was touching her hair.  I thank God for this new technology.  I’ve been away what is now almost two months although it does not feel long at all.  The pain of my mother in this vegetative state/dying condition, the anxiety of going overseas, and a daughter being cared for without me is probably enough to keep me on the edge.  What has helped me is my faith in God to take care of Alyssa.  She was born to be my daughter and I, her mother.  There was a purpose for Alyssa in this world and I hope that God can continue to guide me.

Pic of Alyssa here – Skyping w Momma

 

 

June 15, 2014

I arrived in DC and things were not so smooth the first few days, for me emotionally/phsycially.  Mom is still in hospice and had her moments where it looked to be pain.  But now back to comfort, as I left the hospital.  Suffice to say, God has helped me as I prayed hard and hope that he will continue to guide and save us.  It’s the day before training so I end this blog entry here.  Til next time, check back as my travel continues!!  Thanks for your time and hope you continue to enjoy reading.