Today I had a very encouraging visit from a Thai Pastor and his wife to pray over me at the hospital in the chapel. I wish he can meet and pray with Alyssa too, but considering she is under treatment and her immune system is low, it's better to be safe.
I did not realize how much I fell away from the faith through my failures with establishing a regular bible study or a ministry where I felt I belong. The fact that SoulCore rosary workout did not take off in Florida, as I imagined it to, and did not happen for me in DC was also part of me "giving up." But I heard the words repeated to me twice in the last 24 hours..."Everything happens for a reason."
I had wonderful and vivid dreams the last few nights that were full of hope and encouragement. And I wake up to reality to find that my daughter still has cancer and she has surgery in two weeks. I have been reminded by this wonderful visit, that God will work out everything for me. In between that, I will do what I can to remain strong and to take care of my daughter. The reality of my waking life will be back in order, in good time.
But first...starting small and doing those pushups for the Our Father, planks for the Hail Mary and memorizing the Hail Holy Queen prayer. SO that I may be ready to lead SoulCore when His timing is right, it will be something for me to pursue once Alyssa's recovery is under way. Amen.
