I Revel at 3 Physical and Spiritual Needs

Good Morning,

May 26, 2024.  Captain's Log, supplemental.  I just got back from my trip to Canada. My mother-in-law passed away after we learned about her terminal illness during Christmas.  It's been a rough week.  However, while encountering stress and hardship during these times, I was able to get away, recharge and recuperate.  During this period, three things came to me (three revels I call it) in the signs that life throws my way so I must pay attention.

Revel #1.  About two years ago, a speaker came to a women's conference workshop at one of my friend's church. My friend invited me to that workshop.  During the workshop, there were books mentioned that were on the reading list. One of them, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, was on there.  Two years later, I quickly stashed that book into my luggage hoping to steal some time and read it.  Wow, was that the best thing that happened especially how my family has encountered rough times.  

The funeral service for my mother-in-law was beautiful. From the music playing, to the readings and my daughter's speech, the service could not have been a better celebration.  The responsorial psalm she had chosen before she passed away was Psalm 23, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not Want."

I so far, had read three chapters, and the most important take away so far was that the life of a flock of sheep is like that of God's people who live our lives with the master looking and caring for us.  The author of the book, is an actual shepherd for a flock of sheep (ewes, female sheep).  While reading this book, the author likens our spiritual life to that of how a flock operates and very much so, in a similar way.  He uses words that really are geared for livestock and domesticated sheep but at the same time, relates to the lives of God's people and behavior in a group.  For example, there may be one sheep that is domineering and want to be top "sheep." Or, a sheep that goes astray, causing other sheep to follow.

My favorite one is the term he used to describe when an outside threat, such as a wolf or coyote tries to come and disturb the flock.  The term he used was "molest." I'm like... WHAT?  Often, we associate that word with modern day offense, such sexual assault on a child. But in fact, in this context, it means to persistently annoy or disturb. Can you imagine if we can use this in our daily lives. Who am I persistently annoying and how is this affecting my relationship?  The other term he used was in order to make a sheep lie down in green pastures, the livestock must be healthy and free from pestilence such as insects, flies and ticks.  Well what do you know. I'm not crazy after all from lathering myself up with bug spray before heading out in the tropics! 

Revel #2

During this trip, I ran into two visions and signs that came my way.  It made me aware of some things and maybe it is perchance, or maybe it was predestined that I got this message.  On this trip, I brought with me a magazine on organizing and de-cluttering unimportant stuff in your life. Organization has been a interesting topic because it deals with how we manage the physical elements around us that come into our lives.  Well, the magazine starts by describing a few types of organizers. The sentimental one, the visual one (needs to see everything out in plain site) or the tidy one.

As I returned from my trip to the cottage, my husband had to stop at the funeral home to pick up documentation. I of course, after an hour in the car, had to use the bathroom. I quickly rushed in and was directed to their restrooms. I walked in and never in my life thus far, have I scene a restroom so immaculately peaceful, inviting, clean in my life. I felt a sense of peace in this space. I couldn't help but think as I walked out. Wow.  How is it that I had that feeling when all my life, I avoided public restrooms for the fact that it is chaotic and anything but peaceful.  The answer? A feeling of peace and calm.  Perhaps the funeral home was inviting to all guests who feel overwhelmed, chaotic, and in turmoil in their inner soul and to be welcomed by a clean and peaceful place where they can wash away their stress in their physical bodies and physical lives can bring a bit of serenity.

The message then was repeated to me again, when I visited a friend's house and again, I sensed a peace of calm and tranquility. I wondered to myself, how can this person have no piece of clutter in site? Having a space free of disorder is comforting.

Revel #3

This trip was very much last minute as we did not know when we would be traveling. But I packed my bags in less than a week's notice and prepared according to the weather and where we would be going. As I marvel in this trip, I realized this mimics a lot of my life.  The organization that I so strive for, in order to enjoy the larger things in life, so that I'm not running around frantically trying to look for something, to invite peace and security into my life.  I bought a couple of spare clothes that I might need. I brought just enough. And if I didn't bring enough, I was able to get access to a place that provided me what I needed.

When it was a sweater for a cold weather, medicine for my sinuses, or even having spare clothes in case of stains or spills, I was prepared. Because life is unpredictable. You just don't know what you are going to need and when you are going to need it. We carry around so much in our lives with this debilitating fear and end up storing so much stuff we might need one day. Let go and let God.  He is our shepherd, he knows what we need.

I guess sometimes we just have to make the best of it and the rest .. follow with our eyes closed.

A Happy DREAM

 It's not often that I wake up feeling happy or that I had a GREAT dream.  When I do, it truly is a great feeling.  

I dreamed that I was leading an exercise class.  We first started with me briefing how important it is to stretch our bodies and warm them up so we can be ready for an activity such as a game, an Olympic event, etc.  So I proceed to lead to show them how to stretch.  Then I said, it's time to start increasing our heart rate so we're going to walk around in the circle.  I said just 10 minutes a day shows how much it can help our bodies.  I told them we have two circles, inner is the ones who want to run and the outer is for those who want to walk.  Afterwards, we had about 5 minutes remaining and I was going to show them the last activity of the class, and that is floor work -- ab exercises and some strengthening.

In real life, I'm not a fitness expert. I've been leading SoulCore classes now going on the 2nd year at the church. I enjoy leading people spiritually. I feel like that's my gift. Motivating and I myself, went through many transformations in my younger years as I had personal trainers and a bunch of fitness classes. I had more energy back then. I was ambitious. I also went through some Yo-Yo diets and had success with weight lost. Keeping it off was my struggle.  But in no means, am I physical anatomy expert or have proper queuing although I'm learning.

I think sometimes my calling is to be a leader of some sort - to motivate people to lead healthier lives. My life long struggle with being happy and positive sometimes revert and I end up going to my old ways. But life isn't static.  We are individuals who go through experiences that change and mold us.  Study shows that our brains are more bendable then we think, although we often tell ourselves that "I'm an old dog. I can't learn new tricks."  We justify reasons for why we can't change.

I joined an online support group on self-confidence. I think I have come a long way. Others may think that I read all these self-help books and have gone to therapy for 30 years and it hasn't changed me. I beg to differ. I can now speak more comfortably in a group, thanks to Toastmasters. I am more confident than I was in my teen years, knowing that I don't have to be perfect.  

Sure, I have setbacks and I get into a depression, self-sorry cycle, but I realize it. And after 40 years, I know I have tools at my disposal to move on.  I have friends that love me and support me.  And I know now I can't make the world love me.  And I have let go of the fact that a person's action is not always about me. I know I can stop taking it personal because I used to think that way.  Because of my low self-esteem, I blame myself thinking with a negative attitude and internalizing. I'm constantly looking for approval.  I can blame childhood neglect for this --but whatever.  

Someone said, It's not always about you.  We are ego-centric by nature. After all, we are given 5 senses to see the world and it's through our own eyes.  Touch, vision (our camera), smell, hearing and... taste? Some have six. But that's how we navigate our world.

And that's all I have to say about that.  (---Forrest Gump)

Happy, Active and NOT Lurking

 Good Morning,

It's that time of the year... the time to write and update my blog.  I just finished my Mass Media course in pursuit of my intended technical certificate Social Media which I hope to attain by Spring 2025.  That's right, I have 1 like and 30 followers, but who's to say I cannot go in a field that I have energy and passion for. It can't go downhill from here.  Let's momentarily switch topics.

There once was a serial killer who admitted in an interview, that his parents had nothing to do with how he turned out. Well, hell. This man was from a typical white-bred middle class family who appeared to have love and support most of his life.  I come from a family that is not traditionally the same. We always seem to avoid blame or blame everything else but ourselves. Yes, I never grew up with the mentality of taking ownership because in the end, that leaves me feeling powerless. But yet, some people naturally gravitate toward this.  This came to a realization that I would avoid blame at all costs, including putting blame on someone else so I wouldn't look bad.

Last night I decided to watch a tutorial on Happiness for Teens that I put off for the longest time because I knew I don' have time for it. But it's an important topic. And I do want to know the happiness and well being of teenagers today, given that Generation Z appears to be the most depressed generation - says research. Turns out, that one of the cause of unhappiness in social media is how you approach it. There are many passive lurkers out there, that don't interact but scroll through social media -- adding to their mental state of mind.

Human behavior has been studied, according to Google, early 1900s. You'd be shock to think this field is relatively new. I chose Psychology as a second major in my college career back in the early 2000s because I was fascinated with the class in high school, child psychology. I wanted to know if we can control the outcome of a child's life through proper support, love and tools we give them, despite their genetics inclination. Well, if you circle back to that earlier statement I made about Dahmer, it simply indicates either he's lying and refuse to blame his father or the truth -- that we really can't tell the true motivation for a human's behavior.  Can we blame our parents for how we learn to live through "modeling" and what is acceptable and not acceptable?  This is the theory, "learned through modeling." Or do we do the opposite of what our parents did through the traumas we encountered growing up, vowing never to be like them?

In the end, the answer to happiness?  Is within. Is a state of mind. Stop trying to evaluate why someone loves or doesn't love you. You can't make the world love you.  Indeed, I grew up in a period of pop culture and all I ever wanted was to be famous and in the limelight.  Why, because that promises that you would be loved?  Did Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, or even Karen Carpenter feel loved? The anguish Karen felt not loving her body, or the anguish that Elvis felt, what fame brings into his life?

Food for thought.