Traveling Again

Back in the USA

 

June 12, 2014

Well, my journey in Swaziland ends today.  Again, I am traveling, venturing into new territories and perhaps making new friendships and contacts again.  Life is a journey and last night’s dream prove to be so.  I dreamt that I was in a cruise and during this adventure, not only did I have such strong emotions, there were twists and turns and sites of new cities as well as feelings of broken promises and missing old friends.  I really love the joys of traveling but dislike the pains of leaving behind what has been established.  I will miss this city and the people I’ve met but they have all changed me, as I hope I have changed or inspired them. 

In last night’s cell bible study, we went over the program, 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.  Interestingly enough, I read this book while I was in Florida and each bit of it made sense that once I started reading it, I couldn’t put the book down.  Well yesterday they spoken of two types of people – the one who talks (babbling brooks) and the one who listens or doesn’t talk (the dead sea).  I knew for certain that I was a “babbling brook” although not in the first sense that you meet me, but that I happily express myself and to great detail, like to make known, what and how I feel (thus many people feel frustrated when I don’t finish listening).  I feel like a babbling brook in the sense that as my husband puts in, “you don’t have to tell the whole story” but I feel the need to be expressive so that people can “understand” me.  But then last night’s dream revealed two things to me – that I’m not necessarily one or the other, but I am a bit of both.  I do keep certain feelings inside, those that are very strong to me and that I never feel safe to reveal.  So yes, like the dead sea I do have a reservoir, just like they said.  I think to a certain extent everyone has one but they would know which one they lean toward the most.  I like telling stories..It’s what can be recorded and can show what was once lived.  Scrapbooking is one means of recording that story for me.  I know certain people like to live in the moment, never record a thing in their life, but know it is all “up here” in their heads but everyone has a finite time on earth.  And with that, a lost of precious memories.   

What’s important to a person? To leave that history behind or to take it with them when they depart earth?  I guess that is the question and one cannot (and should not) persuade an ideal on another, for we are all different (created in God’s images) and special that way.

 3:21 PM Johannesburg Airport

Here I am killing time at the airport.  Driver had to get me here early so he can return to Swaziland by daylight.  Anyways, I survived the long wait as I’ve just enjoyed a two-scoop cup of delicious Haagen-Dazs ice cream.  What better way to use up my remaining RAND.  Got some souvenirs too..one for the little one, the hubby and for mom/Batt.  Haven’t been in touch with them over a day and it will be two days by the time I arrive Friday morning.  Funny how time flies fast when you are traveling & waiting.. Just like that book by Dr. Seuss.  We are always just waiting..waiting for a train to come or a plane to fly   (Oh the Places you’ll go).  I saw mom last few times on Skype and she looked so very weak and near death.  It’s so sad when I think of the things she enjoys like the magnets and buying souvenirs, all these things makes me want to cry.  She was my mom, good or bad; weaknesses and strength.  She is my mom, and she did the most wonderful thing one can do – give me life.  What makes me want to cry very much is knowing when I talk to her, even on Skype she seemed to open her eye as much as she can and try to talk – how can one say that a person’s condition like that has “no brain activity?”  She is in God’s hands now.

5:15 PM

Now at the gate, done going through the too familiar security check at the gate and just waiting to board.  Almost 1 and a half hour of listening to Mark’s Gospel while looking for pictures of grandma and Alyssa on my laptop’s Memory Manager.  I love how I can find pics quickly according to timeline and subject.  I know by the time is Alyssa is older, her memories with grandma will soon be long forgotten.  I think it will be a good memorial for my mom.  I don’t want to be selfish but I want mommy to either recover in full, or go to God.  When I land, I will find out from daddy, what the verdict is.  I know she will always be with me. 

During my last few weeks in Swaziland, I’ve had the joy of Skyping with Alyssa and it was like I was touching her hair.  I thank God for this new technology.  I’ve been away what is now almost two months although it does not feel long at all.  The pain of my mother in this vegetative state/dying condition, the anxiety of going overseas, and a daughter being cared for without me is probably enough to keep me on the edge.  What has helped me is my faith in God to take care of Alyssa.  She was born to be my daughter and I, her mother.  There was a purpose for Alyssa in this world and I hope that God can continue to guide me.

Pic of Alyssa here – Skyping w Momma

 

 

June 15, 2014

I arrived in DC and things were not so smooth the first few days, for me emotionally/phsycially.  Mom is still in hospice and had her moments where it looked to be pain.  But now back to comfort, as I left the hospital.  Suffice to say, God has helped me as I prayed hard and hope that he will continue to guide and save us.  It’s the day before training so I end this blog entry here.  Til next time, check back as my travel continues!!  Thanks for your time and hope you continue to enjoy reading.    

32,000 Miles in One Month

Visiting Mom During her "Last Days"

 

May 25, 2014

Well, it has been way too long since I’ve updated my blog.  It’s been a whirlwind with all the festivities going on.  Since the last trip, my daughter and I just returned to Swaziland from a 3-week Rest and Recuperation travel to Florida.  I just recently spent three days in Washington DC to see mom and try to do some business at State Department.  Well, not even three weeks, I hear news that mom is in the hospital.  But this is not just the usual hospitalization that she’s been admitted due to low-oxygen/shortness of breath.  My brother and dad are terrible at communication.  It wasn’t until three days later that I realized she had a serious cardiac arrest resulting in a coma/brain injury – when I called the hospital from Swaziland, the doctor in ICU told me that it was severe, and recovery is low.  Mom had sustained a anoxic brain injury and will not recover – and even if she did, she would not be what she was like 2 weeks ago.  This was terrible news.  I was confused, hurt and angry.  The next day I went to work and told my boss.. He said, “I’m so sorry Bo to hear that.  Go home, go see your mom.”  Coming from Bill, I was surprised.  I didn’t even know that State Department paid for emergency visitation travel – so much for my knowledge about rights and policies.

I dragged my six year old daughter and packed bags at last minute, and we were on our way again across the ocean.  This time because it was a government paid trip – there was a direct flight to Washington Dulles with a stop in Dakar for gas.  My daughter has had ENOUGH.  She was whiny, disrespectful and just in general misbehaving the whole trip.  Who could blame a girl who has to go through all this travel stress AGAIN in less than 3 weeks.  The first trip was not so great with two connections but she did great then.  We finally made our way and saw mom – she looked horrible.  Her whole lower mouth sagged and her tongue stuck out of the mouth.  The nurse said it’s because her whole face is relaxed.  Well when the higher-brain no longer functions those muscles don’t work.  As the day progresses, the tongue reduced.  After a week passes, a committee met with us and sort of made us head in the direction of hospice care.  My brother and I agreed..we were in for a surprise as we were not fully informed about what hospice care was about.

The first day in hospice, mom’s tongue bled profusely.  We had no idea what was going on.  We thought maybe it was the trach cut in her throat maybe it was the lungs..something.  All we knew was that it looked to be a horrific way to go and all the hospice nurse can do is to drug her more with morphine.  They said in hospice care ALL meds were stopped, except for feeding tubes.  As I was oblivious to what was going around me, the trauma doctors and nurses in ICU saw what was happening and had to intervened when they saw how distraught my brother and I were, emotionally.  I was praying to St. Faustina for intercession and miraculously that was what happened.  In order to find out what was causing her an apparent “bleeding to death” was actually her teeth bighting on her tongue, causing a thick ball of blood in her mouth.  Now the doctors had it under control, she remained in acute care.  They said after a follow-up meeting we can still move her back to hospice and letting her die naturally from kidney failure (no more dialysis) which was actually least painful.  My brother and I were still not in acceptance and hoped and hoped that she would wake up.  Well, one month later after acute care and mom looking SO much better, denied nursing homes from two that almost took her, we again gave up.  I thought I gave her a chance, but it’s time we let mom go.

'

She looks peaceful now, like she’s sleeping.  Her last dialysis was Friday.  So we will see how her body will deal and what will happen this time.  I still trust in God and know that if he wants to bring mom back to full recovery, he can.  He can work miracles.  We had a priest come in to anoint and forgive her sins, we had the latest healer come to talk to her today, just before I left.  We’ll here I am, on my flight home without my daughter and ready to face a new future, a new assignment and unknown territory.  It will be hard but I know I will adapt.  I’m strong mentally and I know what I need to do to seek help.  I don’t let anxiety or depression get to me too long.  I guess that’s how I differ from my brother.  He was alone and mom was all he has.  I’ll just have to continue to pray for him.

Going to Baghdad is going to be a good experience for me – not only will I have a chance to take care of myself, I’ll be able to have time for myself to study hopefully do some soul searching while serving America.  The boss I’m going to work for sounds like he’s in sync with my work values.  I think it will all work out.  I will keep you posted.  And without the little girl, I should have more time to blog among many other things I hoped to have time for (spiritual development, exercise). I’ll miss her immensely but she is strong and so am I.  So here to another 16,000 miles (for my return trip to Swaziland and back again for training in the USA).

Back to Africa: Travel Woes

April 9

After three fun-filled weeks in the states, we return to Swaziland.  Alyssa and I had a long trip and to deal with the stress of traveling, she came up with a cute idea.  Her carry-on luggage became her family and so did the big pieces.  It was cute everywhere she went, she called my carry-on her “big sister” and her princess carry-on her “baby sister.”  This made walking through the long terminals, going through customs and security checks at four major international airports bearable (and fun).  Everyone that came into contact thought it was cute as well.  “C’mon baby sister let’s go.”  She played with her, danced with her, sat on her “neck.”  When we got to the hotel, she also brought it into bed!  My poor girl..She really wants a sibling!  Well if you could call Alyssa “excess baggage” you certainly can call the rest of our bags our brothers and our sisters.

Travel woe number two.  During the long airplane ride you are always bound to hit turbulence.  Every time we do, Alyssa says “mommy are we landing?”  She knows that every time we land, it’s a guarantee that the plane shakes, rumbles and roars.  My little seasoned traveler.  If I were to count the many times she’s traveled, I’m sure it’s over a dozen by now, since the time she left Brussels at nine months.

Trip 1, 2008: 9 Months from Brussels à Canada.

Trip 2: Canada à DC.

Trip 3: DC à FL.

(2008-2013) And in between from flying back to Canada, taking a long car ride from Maryland back to Florida in 2009 and taking planes back to DC for Christmas..Quite a few. I lost track.

Recent

Trip 2013: FL à  DC for 8 week’s, momma’s training

Trip 2013:  DC à  Atlanta

And Atlanta à Johannesburg (JNB) and car ride to Mbabane, Swaziland

Christmas 2013: We drove three hours from Swaziland to Johannesburg then caught a plane to Cape Town.

JNB à Cape Town

Cape Town à JNB

January 2014

Mbabane à Johannesburg (domestic flight)

JNB à Mbabane

March 2014

JNB à London Heathrow

London à Newark

Newark à Fort Lauderale

April 2014

Fort Lauderdale à Newark

Newark à Frankfurt

Frankfurt à JNB

SO… Just counting all the planes I tracked this year and last year plus when she departed overseas is already 16 plane rides (each leg) total!!! So Alyssa, a seasoned travel has certainly done at least 25 plane rides (12 round trips) total.  Easily… And not once has she been Afraid.  Except today when she didn’t sleep for 10 hours and would not take the antihistamine pill because it was “yucky.”  By the time we were two hours away from landing she started freaking out saying she couldn’t yawn and thought she was “dying.”  What she felt was probably extreme tiredness crossing time zones, dehydration from the 10+ hour flight and the 6+ hour flight the day before.  My poor girl. I hope that my traveling days will wind down.


Welcome home to your new master bathroom.  Some work was done at our house while we were gone.

 

It's like we never left!

March 24, 2014

A little over a week now since we've been back in Florida and it feels like we never left.  Same nice warm weather, visiting Largo to see mom and dad, and getting together with my friends and their kids.  I miss my routine: PT classes with my trainer, lyrical dance classes, Tuesday paper crafting and restaurant night out.  There is so much to do in Florida, one can wonder how we can leave this behind.

Alyssa is so happy to see her grandparents and spend some quality time.  I enjoy it on this side of the coast - more laid back, just looking forward to breakfast, swimming, lounging around; retirement life - bingo and shuffleboard :)  The latter we haven't done yet but it was fun the last few times.  The weather has been rainy so we're hoping to go to the beach.  I'm missing my weight watchers class -- gotta head back first thing Saturday.  I really like the shopping here too..There are Bealls store everywhere whereas in Florida you only have it in Boca Raton which is too far. 

Looking forward to celebrating Jason's birthday and getting some seafood in finally.  I still have my "wish list" which includes shopping for Weight Watchers treat, shopping for baked goods like frosting and Ghirardelli (melted candy) and going ice skating and taking a zumba class.  Ice skating, Jason and Alyssa did already..we'll see about the remaining. 

L-R: Stephanie, Alyssa and Marissa enjoying the Barbie Dream house Visit

R & R Finally

March 17, 2014

Happy St. Patrick's Day.  Although it hardly feels like it.  My first R &R started yesterday as we recovered from the long flight home.  Due to unwavering circumstances, it looks like this R & R will be on my personal expense so I ended up booking through Expedia, going on two international long flights and two layovers.  I almost didn't make my flight in Newark.  I was surprised how well Alyssa did on the plane rides after the 4+ hour drive to Johannesburg.  She is one tough cookie and a young world traveler. 

First day, we went to Stephanie's Birthday party.  Was really looking forward to it and Alyssa enjoyed meeting her old friends, the bounce house and face painting.  The plane ride finally hit late when she had indigestion problems..Mommy too.  I guess we are just ready to party!  We were looking so much to this trip, nothing was going to stop us.  Not even the three plane rides.

Day two of my R & R ended up getting my MEDS at Walgreens, returning car seat at Wal-greens since the plane delayed my article, and getting used to driving on the right-side of the road.  I was on autopilot this morning when I pulled out of the house we are staying at onto the road and realized I was driving on the wrong side of the road!!  Woo hoo..Scary, I better not day dream again.  It's just amazing on the brain works.  It just doesn't switch over that quick!

I guess the rest of the week is getting things straightened out in DC and then coming back to enjoy vacation in Florida.  Meanwhile things back home in Africa are progressing..When I return, my master bathroom shall have been refurbished.  Let's hope they finish when I return.  I plan to get back on my weight loss during this trip as I've gained 10 lbs since last year and have to start again on the slow WW plan.  That seems to work for me because of the 1) accountability and 2) realistic health plan.  Well, hoping for some relaxation time before heading back to the salt mine.

My poor poor girl after the long plane ride (2 international flights:  Johannesburg --> Heathrow --> Newark --> Fort Lauderdale

Short Staycation in Swaziland and Nelspruit Area

 

March 9

Vacation starts in my home town with the visit to Hlane big game park.  It definitely wasn’t Krueger Park, but had a lot more thrills in terms of being there among the lions.  I thought the lions there would be caged in fact, it just had a separate compound from the giraffes and rhinos.  They came out of the bushes and it was indeed exciting. The excitement stopped when they stared back at the car and started walking real close, literally feet away.  Too close from my comfort!  There were many photo ops with that close of a view but I froze and will never forget how I felt.  I definitely think they were scoping me out..or at least curious.  What’s to stop them from jumping into an open safari vehicle..They are capable.  Then again, it’s me and my irrational fear.  Lions have always been, in the deep part of me, my worst feared creatures and they appear in my dream so.  What’s more, there was a vehicle behind us, leaving us in a choke point (no escape)..I guess I felt “claustrophobic.”

Today’s visit to Cradle of Life was a bit more relaxing and ten times safer.  The game drive took us through the scenic beautiful backyard of giraffes and zebras with the backdrop of the mountains, bonsai-like trees behind it..Just beautiful.  We then visited the big cats in their cage as the keepers were feeding it dead chickens.  Was a site and Alyssa enjoyed it more.  When it started raining, she had herself an afternoon of playing in the rain.  Now we are relaxed in a quiet chalet, in the midst of nature.  It’s going to take a bit of time to relax and sleep here.  This feels like camping!  The hotel is expensive for a leaky roof, non—functional toilet and barely any cable channels.  Not even a telephone in the room and of course, no internet.  Definitely back to the beginnings of life.

Since I’ve been in SA, I have to say there are certain delights.  One of them being the lunches for two top at 140 RAND or $14 max..That’s at a sit down restaurants.  The last few sit-down restaurants had our meal in 10-15 min tops.  Fast food, yet sit-down restaurant quality.  Last but not least, every parking lot has a fellow to help you back out.  Looking for tip..Most of the time, no.  It’s just one of those things you never knew could be of so much help. 

Our trip to Nelspruit was more adventurous this time.  Last time, the only store we went to was Makro and we had no more room to put things in the back.  This time I discovered the mall center and entertainment..It was so much fun and Alyssa thoroughly enjoyed it.  It’s kind of like Chuck E Cheese but everything is electronic, including the coins and tickets.  You just use a card, charge it up and earn tickets on it.  Definitely better for the environment..The best thing she liked was the bumper car.  There were no kids there so mommy was her playmate.  We also bought coins and couldn’t return them as I could not find the cancel button once I inserted the bill.  So we found a spot outside the Mediterranean restaurant and she rode a London bus, horsey, school bus…and made a friend in the process.  Well, it was her day.  Last adventure day we decided to take it easy.  We were originally going to visit the Reptile Park and Elephant Sanctuary to interact with the animals..Things got hectic Tuesday night when mommy gave Alyssa aspirin to help with her ankle and told myself..I have benedryl in case something happens.  Apparently the Benedryl dosage was not enough..Ended up in the Medi-Clinic, locked myself out of the car and me and Alyssa didn’t get to sleep until midnight.  Adventure indeed.  I’m just grateful that it happened in a country that had adequately everything..Next day our host went and got the batteries for my clicker at the Toyota dealer.  What a relief..I thought the worst of having to damage the car to get in!  What’s more, my car stayed safe at the Medi-Clinic.

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Few more days and we’ll have a vacation.  Good news with my house is that when I get back, I will have a newly renovated bathroom.  Bad news, not only do I have to speed pack, I also have to lock up all the assets in the house.  Nothing is easy, foreign service life is never easy.. And the miscommunication with the South Africans here are yet just another barrier.  Last night they said, “garage” and my understanding was that – a garage!  They meant gas station!!  Yeah, like a gas station is going to carry 2010 Toyota FOB batteries..uh huh.  Yes, this is the “Lost in Translation” part.  I thought to myself..Wow, they have a 24-hour garage in Nelspruit.

Until next time.

Happy March!

March 2, 2014

Seeing light at the end of my tunnel now that we will have a month's break in the States.  Got a gazillion things to do as we're getting ready to reunite with family for a few weeks.  Today was a nice Sunday..Relaxed and enjoyed awesome pizza at the Timbali Lodge the heaven valley, "Ezulwini." 

Alyssa and I have been enjoying quality evenings together.  We've been having pajama parties, baking and eating cookies, hot chocolate, and doing games and puzzles..She's been into it and this is going on our third day of pajama partying.  I'm all for it..Whatever that can get her excited for bed time is good for me.  This past weekend, we've also been in the "blast from the past" movies from the Back to the Future Trilogy to Sound of Music.  She loved them all and so do I.  I never get tired of classics..Sure beats watching Garfield, Pink Panther or Scooby doo!  But then again, I'm not much of a TV person.

A "margarita pizza" which is equivalent to a US plain cheese pizza.  Yummm and oven-flamed from Boma's (Timbali Lodge) in Ezulwini.

 

 

As I was driving home this week, there was a man peeing on the side of the road.  I can clearly see the water but dared not look..I tried to avoid eye contact but as soon as I looked up after turning my head, he looked back at me and smiled.  Gee..the nerve!  In other news..The Swazis have scooped up and laid down cement blocks on just a patch of the curve road on my street.  Nice to do that corner but it will take a while to do the entire road!  I guess little by little it will be done but why just that short strip?

 

Will continue collecting random thoughts as the week goes along.  I overcame a large hurdle by getting back on the horse yesterday.  Leslie told me to come in Alyssa's lesson just to get back on the horse.  I was still quite tense when the horse(s) wouldn't budge.  She asked me to go get Nono (Alyssa's horse) from the stable and when I tried to pull her out, she wasn't cooperative.  I guess she can tell, "this girl got no power in her."  In the back of my mind, I can imagine her throwing a tantrum and kicking at me.  So I grabbed one of the workers to help.  Then when I got on Rainbow, the same horse that decided to eat one day when I was on him as I gently tumbled off, wouldn't do what I ask yesterday.  So we ended up taking a nice easy trail ride.  They are like little children, they can be naughty and get away with it.  Just don't get a 900 lb child angry.

 

Woohoo..I'm leaving some grayness for lots of sunshine!  'Til next time..