I got to catch a movie at the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), which I had no idea was happening this week. My colleagues at work suggested I check it out since it’s once a year and there were a lot of stars. I decided to look into booking ticket, not knowing what I was in for. The theme seemed intriguing and so I booked my ticket. Wow..is all I could say. The message that was sent to me.
I started the evening tired, wondering how I was going to stay awake since I had a sleepless night. Well, by evening time, I decided to do my SoulCore exercise following the Sorrowful Mysteries. I’m glad I did, it helped me focus on the virtues of the biggest challenge I’m facing. I might even get some enlightenment at the show.
So, as I’m walking down to the Roy Thompson Hall, I imagine waiting in a line near a red carpet seeing stars walk down. It was nothing like that. Instead I got there early, only to be directed to a Starbucks cafe. The same three friends who I saw earlier say, “we’re here too early” ended up there as well. I’ve never been to a film festival. I just wanted to be a part of the action and since I was little, I was always intrigued by movie stars. They made things happen on the big screen. I always dreamed of being famous that never panned out.
Well, as I enter the theater and got seated in my section and initially seated wrong. But I got to talk to a lady who was a regular at the film festivals and she said there are usually over 400 films from all over the world, some that you never get to see. Also, the red carpet pre-show is really too crowded. She suggested next year I try the Elgin theater. Few minutes later I realized I was in the wrong seat. To might right...what do you know, the same three friends I stumbled into at Starbucks was there.
SHowtime... Lights flickered and the Director was introduced and walked to the stage to talk about her film. Then she invited the stars to join her, though they didn’t say anything. I was too busy trying to catch a photo because they said “filming is prohibited.” So I turn to my left and my right and see lights everywhere. “Ahhh OK THEN!” The line I remember the director saying was that the little boy did such a good job that she ended up crying. Wow...he really portrayed her story just the way sh wanted. I couldn’t see Maggie Gyllenhaal’s face very well she’s so far but very tall!!
The movie started...I had no idea what it was about, only that the teacher had a high interest in one of her gifted students. As the movie progressed I was kind of shock with the parallel with the themes happening in my life. What I got from the movie was this...One person can have so much passion, that she allows it to cloud her vision and cross many borders that shouldn’t be crossed. The end of the movie keeps the audience wondering. The theme was about poetry art. I like the characters. The teacher (main character) is carefree and giving and attentive. But she was far from perfect and definitely not a Saint. You see her human side come out...the selfishness at times, the frustration and even times of hopelessness with her own kids. But one thing is clear. She acted on her passion and feelings whether right or wrong. She demonstrated to the audience how vulnerable we can be as individuals an when she cried during the movie after the boy cited the poem, it shows her humanity.
What an amazing experience. And Maggie, the actress sat and watched the show just one balcony down from mine. That was cool!!! What did I learn from my night?
I learned that we are drawn to passion and also the people with the same passion. But life goes on. We cannot fall into the traps of temptation that worldly passion offers. In the end, it bites us in the ass.
Friday, September 14, 2018
Monday, September 10, 2018
Things I learned from this Amazing Sport
It was a crazy weekend. But worth every effort and energy. I never thought much about the sport of soccer. Only that it was a simple game. Two teams, one ball, one goal. Really, I mean how interesting can it possibly be? The fact is that this sport taught me so much in one weekend, I will never again see it the same way. I have a deep respect for the sport now.
Alyssa now played competitive soccer now for nearly three years. It all started as a sport for fun to learn new skills. Over the last few years, I've seen her develop rapidly in this area, to joining an amazing team of girls, developing friendships and winning championships. She was part of a real competitive team and now that we are heading to the big leagues, we see truth and reality come out. As my husband said last night, all the girls' flaws were exposed. It was tough no doubt, and we see the worst in every family come out. And we know that every family values and sees their kid as "best." When it came down to the last ounce of frustration, we would blame even the closest of friends. The blame just never ends, but this was an important lesson.
Things I learned from soccer:
1. If you work together, take time to think, you can accomplish amazing things.
2. People will push their way forward, no matter what it takes
3. Some people refuse to adapt and be flexible and help their teammates, in the end their suffers.
4. Frustration gets the best of us. But at the same time, it teaches us how to deal with frustration.
5. Your weakest link can be immediately exposed and taken advantage of fast.
6. If everyone worked together, using their strengths to their advantage, we can accomplish a great goal. No one is the best at everything.
7. Sometimes one person has to suffer, or as they say, "take it for the team."
A great end indeed, to a crazy weekend. Thank you Jesus, for everything I learned over this soccer tournament weekend. Thank you for being with us and for allowing our mother to be with us, watching over Alyssa, protecting her. Despite the wins and losses, no one got seriously hurt and have grown tremendously.
Alyssa now played competitive soccer now for nearly three years. It all started as a sport for fun to learn new skills. Over the last few years, I've seen her develop rapidly in this area, to joining an amazing team of girls, developing friendships and winning championships. She was part of a real competitive team and now that we are heading to the big leagues, we see truth and reality come out. As my husband said last night, all the girls' flaws were exposed. It was tough no doubt, and we see the worst in every family come out. And we know that every family values and sees their kid as "best." When it came down to the last ounce of frustration, we would blame even the closest of friends. The blame just never ends, but this was an important lesson.
Things I learned from soccer:
1. If you work together, take time to think, you can accomplish amazing things.
2. People will push their way forward, no matter what it takes
3. Some people refuse to adapt and be flexible and help their teammates, in the end their suffers.
4. Frustration gets the best of us. But at the same time, it teaches us how to deal with frustration.
5. Your weakest link can be immediately exposed and taken advantage of fast.
6. If everyone worked together, using their strengths to their advantage, we can accomplish a great goal. No one is the best at everything.
7. Sometimes one person has to suffer, or as they say, "take it for the team."
A great end indeed, to a crazy weekend. Thank you Jesus, for everything I learned over this soccer tournament weekend. Thank you for being with us and for allowing our mother to be with us, watching over Alyssa, protecting her. Despite the wins and losses, no one got seriously hurt and have grown tremendously.
Sunday, June 10, 2018
My memorabilia box
So in my last blog entry, I talked about how the mind captures everything through the lens called the eyes. We are continually recording, even right now. This is my 3rd week of medical leave from a recent surgery that limits my movement during the healing process. I told myself that during this time off I would make myself productive and maybe organize my craft room when I am feeling better. So I did. I found many interesting things in box.
1. My diary from 1990. Wow, my feelings although a bit teenage-ish, is still a part of who I am. The kind of boys I obsessed about, wishing to have brown hair blond streaks and hazel eyes was also a desire back then. I knew the person who I was, but after all these years, I also realize in my struggle to be someone different (confident, positive) I *am* coming closer to becoming that person. The important thing I realized was that acceptance is key. If anyone has studied mindfulness, humans, in general, are naturally harsh on themselves when they try to meditate and find their thoughts wandering. The voice over would say, “gently bring them back.” Point to all of this — accept yourself even with flaws, and you will be more at peace instead of trying to resist it.
2. My skate wear catalog of one of my favorite idols, 1994 Figure skater gold medalist, Oksana Baiul. With winning a Gold medal at age 16, she really inspired me in more ways than one. She has beauty, she has grace, she helped shape my love for classical music. I wanted to ice skate since 1985. The fact that I still hang onto that 1995 old catalog means that the desire to achieve what she has (and its passion) is still dear to me. If anyone kept up with her life they would know that winning a medal at a young age and getting famous overnight had its price.
3. Alyssa’s artwork from preschool. I love how she saw her parents at a young age and how happy and positive she was. I hang onto many artwork that I adore. I have gone back and threw out a lot but I really love to see how she viewed the world at that age: The people who shaped like triangles. Mommy had black hair, daddy had green hair lol. There is a butterfly over our heads. It appears mom might have a baby inside her belly.
Well memories are always good once in a while. Going there is like going in a virtual time machine and being in that space and time. I guess that is why sometimes they are so hard to let go.
1. My diary from 1990. Wow, my feelings although a bit teenage-ish, is still a part of who I am. The kind of boys I obsessed about, wishing to have brown hair blond streaks and hazel eyes was also a desire back then. I knew the person who I was, but after all these years, I also realize in my struggle to be someone different (confident, positive) I *am* coming closer to becoming that person. The important thing I realized was that acceptance is key. If anyone has studied mindfulness, humans, in general, are naturally harsh on themselves when they try to meditate and find their thoughts wandering. The voice over would say, “gently bring them back.” Point to all of this — accept yourself even with flaws, and you will be more at peace instead of trying to resist it.
2. My skate wear catalog of one of my favorite idols, 1994 Figure skater gold medalist, Oksana Baiul. With winning a Gold medal at age 16, she really inspired me in more ways than one. She has beauty, she has grace, she helped shape my love for classical music. I wanted to ice skate since 1985. The fact that I still hang onto that 1995 old catalog means that the desire to achieve what she has (and its passion) is still dear to me. If anyone kept up with her life they would know that winning a medal at a young age and getting famous overnight had its price.
3. Alyssa’s artwork from preschool. I love how she saw her parents at a young age and how happy and positive she was. I hang onto many artwork that I adore. I have gone back and threw out a lot but I really love to see how she viewed the world at that age: The people who shaped like triangles. Mommy had black hair, daddy had green hair lol. There is a butterfly over our heads. It appears mom might have a baby inside her belly.
Well memories are always good once in a while. Going there is like going in a virtual time machine and being in that space and time. I guess that is why sometimes they are so hard to let go.
 |
| A pregnancy journal given to me by my colleagues. She didn't get my full lips and hair. But she did inherit Jason's wit and self-confidence. |
Friday, June 8, 2018
Your Eyes is the Record
I did not grow up in the age where I was affected by CyberBullying but just because bullying didn’t exist in electronic record form does not mean one has forgotten it.
The other day I saw a YT clip predicting that a computer in the future would exceed human capabilities. Maybe depending on what you are looking for. What is also true is the human mind has and will continuously record life through its eyes as long as it is alive. Everything we come into contact with never disappears rather gets stored away in this amazing brain that God has created. A machine can never be as "smart" or match human intelligence. A machine has limited storage but the human brain never forgets. Everything we learned may be forgotten but is never really gone from our existence (psychical and spiritual) and becomes who we are.
I still remember the exact day, not to an actual day on the Gregorian calendar but all senses that I felt that day when a boy in the 6th grade has bullied me because of my “differences.” We were outside standing in line and it was a sunny and clear day. I don’t know what prompted him to say this but it really had an impact so much that this human recording Is one that can be recalled with such great detail because it is connected to my identity. So here is the clip: Skinny and cute boy with red orange hair made fun of my birth name - Kaseeraht. He called it “kiss a rat.” Is that funny? You may laugh at it now? Did it humiliate me? Apparently at the time it did, otherwise I wouldn’t have remembered it. I thank God that fortunately I grew up with the identity Bo because that is Thai culture. The fact that bullying did exist and was not recorded on a computer to broadcast doesn’t make it go away.
I used to be crazy about making sure I took every picture there was and forgot to live in the moment. Now, I not only let my memories go, I delete it because it has come to a point where it is not only impossible to keep up, but the motive why??
I think back to God’s scripture that one day earth and heaven will pass away but God’s word will never pass away. Pictures, memorabilia’s and records....all that will disappear one from physical existence in the universe one Day. But what the human brain and eyes have seen will never disappear.
To end on a positive note, I also still remember the day I got a compliment from my 6th grade teacher after having stood and read my story in class - he said to me, after I presented, with precise conviction and enthusiasm that “One day, Bo you are going to be a writer.” I may not be a renown author of an adventure story but here I am writing a story and you are reading it.
The other day I saw a YT clip predicting that a computer in the future would exceed human capabilities. Maybe depending on what you are looking for. What is also true is the human mind has and will continuously record life through its eyes as long as it is alive. Everything we come into contact with never disappears rather gets stored away in this amazing brain that God has created. A machine can never be as "smart" or match human intelligence. A machine has limited storage but the human brain never forgets. Everything we learned may be forgotten but is never really gone from our existence (psychical and spiritual) and becomes who we are.
I still remember the exact day, not to an actual day on the Gregorian calendar but all senses that I felt that day when a boy in the 6th grade has bullied me because of my “differences.” We were outside standing in line and it was a sunny and clear day. I don’t know what prompted him to say this but it really had an impact so much that this human recording Is one that can be recalled with such great detail because it is connected to my identity. So here is the clip: Skinny and cute boy with red orange hair made fun of my birth name - Kaseeraht. He called it “kiss a rat.” Is that funny? You may laugh at it now? Did it humiliate me? Apparently at the time it did, otherwise I wouldn’t have remembered it. I thank God that fortunately I grew up with the identity Bo because that is Thai culture. The fact that bullying did exist and was not recorded on a computer to broadcast doesn’t make it go away.
I used to be crazy about making sure I took every picture there was and forgot to live in the moment. Now, I not only let my memories go, I delete it because it has come to a point where it is not only impossible to keep up, but the motive why??
I think back to God’s scripture that one day earth and heaven will pass away but God’s word will never pass away. Pictures, memorabilia’s and records....all that will disappear one from physical existence in the universe one Day. But what the human brain and eyes have seen will never disappear.
To end on a positive note, I also still remember the day I got a compliment from my 6th grade teacher after having stood and read my story in class - he said to me, after I presented, with precise conviction and enthusiasm that “One day, Bo you are going to be a writer.” I may not be a renown author of an adventure story but here I am writing a story and you are reading it.
Sunday, June 3, 2018
My Birthday Blog
I never used to make a big deal out of my birthday and I like to stay out of the spotlight...But something is calling me to blog today. So here I am.
I cannot believe I am 43. I think about the age I was, when I dated man who was 20 years older than me. Thanks to this thing called the internet. We do things we never thought would be possible. Besides the point, today marks the day that I am in 7 years, eligible for federal government retirement in the Foreign Service. And on top of that, I get up at the wee hours of the morning to chat with two dear friends that I missed.. Both of them sending me an important message that I must listened to.
The message I've received is this..I think I know God is leading me to path where I'm supposed to be. I just have to trust. I'm to lead the next generation of leaders in our workforce today, and that are the millennials. I just read an article about the characteristics of milennials and it all made sense to me because I have a few of them who work for me -- and the part about diversity and flexible scheduling makes sense!! But I think I can bring out the best in them.
Does this mean my next steps is school, the new soulcore exercise movement or does it mean moving again? Only the future will tell but at least I'm coming closer. I just have to be still, and know He has it written out for me.
I cannot believe I am 43. I think about the age I was, when I dated man who was 20 years older than me. Thanks to this thing called the internet. We do things we never thought would be possible. Besides the point, today marks the day that I am in 7 years, eligible for federal government retirement in the Foreign Service. And on top of that, I get up at the wee hours of the morning to chat with two dear friends that I missed.. Both of them sending me an important message that I must listened to.
The message I've received is this..I think I know God is leading me to path where I'm supposed to be. I just have to trust. I'm to lead the next generation of leaders in our workforce today, and that are the millennials. I just read an article about the characteristics of milennials and it all made sense to me because I have a few of them who work for me -- and the part about diversity and flexible scheduling makes sense!! But I think I can bring out the best in them.
Does this mean my next steps is school, the new soulcore exercise movement or does it mean moving again? Only the future will tell but at least I'm coming closer. I just have to be still, and know He has it written out for me.
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